I needed to be at a class that started at almost the same time, so Kurt decided to go to court solo. Because she was in jail bio mom came in her prison jump suit and shackles on her ankles and wrist. Kurt says the hearing was quick. They basically told her what her options and rights where and asked if she had made a decision to which she replied that she had. She said she wanted to voluntarily relinquish. They then played 20 questions asking if she'd been bribed to make this decision. Asking if she was sober. Was she aware of the consequences etc.... They then explained what this decision meant (he is no longer hers etc...). Then the judge asked her why she made the decision and she simple said basically "Desiree and Kurt have been amazing to him and I know he's well off there." Then the judge said "So you're doing this out of love for Ethan?" and she said "Yes." Then her attorney asked the judge to allow the foster parent to talk to Cassandra. So Kurt was called forward (SOOO glad it wasn't me). Kurt told Cassandra that he had just texted me and I wrote back that I was bawling. He told her that we both hurt for her and we know you love Ethan and we're aware of how much he loves you and his siblings and want that relationship to continue. He told her that we would do our best to take care of him and provide for his needs. Then it was over. She was escorted out and the case worker suggested we start thinking how to tell Ethan. I feel horrible for her. For her loss. I feel sad that she couldn't defeat her addiction and I know she must be aching inside knowing she is losing everything. She knew her time was up and all the power she had left was to voluntarily relinquish.
I was signing up the boys for the nursery/daycare center during my TBRI class when Kurt sent me the text that she was relinquishing. I couldn't help it. I started bawling. Ethan didn't notice but Asher asked why. I just said I would tell him later. When I was handing in all the paper work the gal asked if I was ok and I just bawled. She handed me two tissues. How were we gonna tell Ethan?
So Kurt wanted to tell Ethan the news that evening. I wanted to wait until I had more time (I had mutual that evening). So after dinner we sent Asher downstairs to play with his cousins. Ethan wanted graham crackers and milk so we told him as he was eating. He was trying to hold back his tears but under his eyes were all wet. All I really remember is "I don't want to be a Johnson!!" He didn't want me to touch him for a bit and wanted to be alone. We let the boys watch a show a little later and he said I could rub his back. I stayed home from mutual so I could rub him down. We talked again when the boys where in bed and he was calmer. Slowly he seems to be coming around and he has even called me Mom several times since. I'm sure that's a BIG adjustment. I asked the case worker to come and just confirm what we had told Ethan so he stopped by the following Thursday. After that Ethan came up and said "You're my favorite mom." That's saying something. He choose to get "baptized" sealed in the Manti Temple which is dandy. So we just need to get through the trial June 8 which I just got subpoenaed for. That's because Bio Dad did not relinquish so we go to trial. Should be pretty quick. Then we'll get our adoption date and can schedule a sealing date. Suddenly feels like its moving.
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