So.... Basically after getting the news that my egg count is really low I pretty much took a step back from fertility treatments. Kurt had already said "yes" to joining a FAZST study where they run tests on him every 6 weeks or so and that gives us free semen analysis'. At the time it seemed like a financially wise decision, but now our minds and hearts have been turned on another more exciting and stressful option leaving thoughts of wanting to get pregnant in the dust, yet again.
In January I was contacted by the attorney for the two bio siblings of Ashers in Montana. She had gotten our family picture and told me we should start making trips up there to see the kids. I jumped on the idea. I got a hold of the case worker and a month later had a Skype visit with the foster parents and the kids. Then almost a month after that Kurt, Asher and I hit the road for our first in person visit.
We fell in love with the kids and especially the idea of Asher gaining two siblings. Not just any siblings but his actual bio siblings. How could we hope for anything better? We ended up making two more trips in March, two in April and one in May. Falling deeper with each and every visit.
The other day Asher asked if he could tell me a secret and put his mouth to my ear and whispered "When are ___ and ___ coming to live with us?" It was the sweetest little thing. Asher prays faithfully for them and reminds us when we forget. I know he wants a sibling and I know it would be such a blessing for him in his life. It's just been so hard waiting and worrying and hoping. I asked Heavenly Father why I even needed to be on this roller coaster. I feel sad for the foster family who like us had no children of their own. I'm satisfied. I'm happy. Asher completes my need to be a mother. When I finished my prayer the thought came to me that this was to satisfy Asher's needs so that he could feel what I now feel.
So we're pushing forward to try and get permanency placement with us. We have several things going our way: 1. We have a bio sibling; 2. The bio parents requested the children be placed with us when their rights were terminated and 3. We have a bio sibling. So what's the problem? The foster family is also putting in for the adoption. What do they have? TIME and the case worker loves them. They are a fabulous, God fearing couple and I would be so happy for them if the decision were that they would get the children, but I cannot think of a better opportunity (if getting siblings is our goal) than to have bio siblings placed with us. They would all look alike and I want them!
So after waiting for ICPC paperwork to go through and whatever else we now wait for the final decision to be made by a selection committee. The future of two families now rest in their hands and I am fasting and praying that the Lord's will is decided. I was at the temple a few days ago and felt like I just needed to stop stressing so much; I needed to hand this burden over to the Lord and trust in Him. Kurt and I have done all we can do; now it is time to be patient and trust. "Thy will oh Lord be done."
The other day Asher asked if he could tell me a secret and put his mouth to my ear and whispered "When are ___ and ___ coming to live with us?" It was the sweetest little thing. Asher prays faithfully for them and reminds us when we forget. I know he wants a sibling and I know it would be such a blessing for him in his life. It's just been so hard waiting and worrying and hoping. I asked Heavenly Father why I even needed to be on this roller coaster. I feel sad for the foster family who like us had no children of their own. I'm satisfied. I'm happy. Asher completes my need to be a mother. When I finished my prayer the thought came to me that this was to satisfy Asher's needs so that he could feel what I now feel.
So we're pushing forward to try and get permanency placement with us. We have several things going our way: 1. We have a bio sibling; 2. The bio parents requested the children be placed with us when their rights were terminated and 3. We have a bio sibling. So what's the problem? The foster family is also putting in for the adoption. What do they have? TIME and the case worker loves them. They are a fabulous, God fearing couple and I would be so happy for them if the decision were that they would get the children, but I cannot think of a better opportunity (if getting siblings is our goal) than to have bio siblings placed with us. They would all look alike and I want them!
So after waiting for ICPC paperwork to go through and whatever else we now wait for the final decision to be made by a selection committee. The future of two families now rest in their hands and I am fasting and praying that the Lord's will is decided. I was at the temple a few days ago and felt like I just needed to stop stressing so much; I needed to hand this burden over to the Lord and trust in Him. Kurt and I have done all we can do; now it is time to be patient and trust. "Thy will oh Lord be done."
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Have you heard back? Any news?
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