Third and Fourth of Eight

There are certain events in our lives that impact how we see the world, and ourselves and have lasting influences on future actions we make.   I have never considered myself to be good at showing or giving sympathy to the heartaches of others. I know some people have been through experiences that are pretty sad and terrible, but I sometimes find myself thinking “That was a long time ago. Get over it.” As a young girl I knew my family was perfect, but as I grew older I began to see the imperfections come to light in my naïve little head.Class 3 and 4 opened my eyes to a world I never allowed myself to see.

Class #3 Abuse & Neglect / Sexual Abuse, Class #4 Impact of Abuse on Development of Children.

Abuse can be sexual, physical, mental, social or emotional.  And there are many levels of abuse in each of those categories. Any time a mark is left on the body of a child as a form of punishment it is considered abuse.

Neglect is a failure to provide a necessity. For example some parents addicted to drugs may crash on the couch asleep for days leaving young children starving for food and uncared for. A baby cries to communicate a need, but as needs are continually ignored the baby will eventually stop this form of communication since it is not being heard.

These two classes have affected me. We watched two different movies on abuse. One about the physical abuse from a young mother who killed her child and another about a father who sexually abused his two daughters. Even as I write about the classes I feel this evil, yucky feeling overcome me. The material learned was necessary but very heavy for my soul. Honestly I was close to being done with the whole thing. It was remembering the highs I had been on with the previous two classes that help me to realize this low was not the spirit telling me foster care was a bad decision altogether.

 I began to realize the horrible affect abuse and neglect can have on children even causing them to act out in the same manner with their children. I’m sure most of us know someone who has been abused. I wondered if I could offer the sympathy and understanding necessary to help the victims placed in my home.  

Depending on the time the abuse began and the duration of the abuse and the abuser determine the ability of the victim to attach themselves to others. With abuse/neglect trust, self worth and bonding opportunities are likely lost. As we continued to learn more about this my feelings of “Just get over it” turned to sorrow and pity. The two videos we watched caused me to weep for the victim and pity the abuser. 

No family is perfect. The goal is still reunification (depending on the gravity of the abuse) but I am going to really have to focus on the positive aspects of the biological parents rather than the actions that got their child into foster care. In order to help keep these families together I have to have faith in repentance and change.

I don’t want to dwell any longer on this post since it’s a hard one for me to put into words, but I know that the information learned will help me to lean to the side of sympathy and patience rather than my impatient nature I have been fighting. I realize that these horrible experiences are difficult for any person, let alone a child, to simply “get over,” and consistency and love must be my sword and shield.