Dolphins and a whole lotta love

Many years ago while on my church mission in Monterrey California, I  was standing on the beach watching the waves and closed my eyes as the wind brushed through my hair. It had been several years since I had been to the ocean and the sand between my toes was bringing me back to memorable times. It felt so serene and peaceful. 

Just moments after pulling off the road and digging my feet deep into the sand something rolled out of and back into the water. My heart stopped. Again there was another roll and another. Dolphins! There had to be at least 4 cruising the shores and moving along the beach where I stood. Emotions of love from a Heavenly Father overwhelmed me. Never before had I ever seen a real life dolphin, and I knew this was no coincidence this sweet evening. Some how He knew this would send His message of love to me without me even knowing I was waiting for it. He let me know that day He knows me.

I thought by getting licensed as a foster parent Kurt and I would be immediately called and have children placed in our home. I mean why not? They seemed to have a need and both ladies that came to speak with us told us they liked what they saw and could tell Kurt and I were happily married. I try not to think about it too much but unknown telephone numbers are triggers and of course the friends, family and coworkers who out of sincere anticipation and curiosity continue to ask the dreaded question, “Well… have you heard anything!?” Maybe it isn't the question I dread so much but the answer I have to give, “No. Nothing yet.”

I feel as though emotions that I've conquered in the past are now coming back to haunt me. Why does this have to be so hard? Why not me? What am I doing wrong? Is this what I’m supposed to be doing? I thought I went with a guaranteed option for results and still the Lord is holding this blessing from me.

 It can be frustrating, and I sure as heck feel anything but strong. I generally try not to talk about it so it doesn't linger too long in my thoughts. 

It's hard not having control over this. There really is no guarantee in this life. The thing that keeps me going is the knowledge I have that my Heavenly Father loves me. He knows me now just as I realized 10 years ago standing on the beach overcome with His love for me that He knew me then. This awareness helps give me courage to face the trials that I encounter in this life.

The young woman theme begins “We are daughters of a Heavenly Father who loves us and we love him.” I guess I never realized how deeply important it is to remember how loved I am by my Father in Heaven. How much He desires to bless me and how He aches for my sorrows even more than I do. Now it is my turn to show my faith in Him that I humbly love and will forever honor Him; so I will continue to wait, for His timing is best.